Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Grrrr!  Let's try this again for the third time and see if I can get it all saved before AOL closes my journal before I'm ready.

Okay, first things first.   A quick cleaning tip for clean drinking glasses.

Cloudy Drinking Glasses: Soak them for an hour or longer in slightly warm white vinegar. Then, use a nylon-net or plastic dish scrubber to remove film. Still there? The damage must be etching (tiny scratches that occur in the dishwasher) and is permanent, sorry to say. To avoid this altogether, hand-wash your best glasses.
Does anyone watch Dr. Phil?  I watched yesterdays show, extreme mom's, and was blown away by the lack of insight of mothers.  Especially the one who appeared on the show for the third time in 4 years. 
There was one mother who lives in NY city and gave her 9 year old son a subway map and let him find his way home from a store.  She writes a blog called Free Range Kids.   Luckily she and her husband had brought their child up to be an independent and responsible child.  I may have secretly followed just to be extra safe the first time, but I totally understand her reasoning.  Of course, it depends on the child and how they've been raised.  I know some 18 year olds who wouldn't be ready for that.
On the other hand, there were mothers who are what are being called "Helicopter Moms".  They're called that because they constantly hover over their children.  I'm pretty protective of Rylie Jo, but I don't think I hover.  I let her go to her friends house to play, she's stayed the night at her sister's house, etc.  She's allowed to play outside and ride her bike and I don't feel the need to be at her side constantly.  I want her to be independent but still feel like there is always that safe place in our arms. 
I wonder if these Helicopter Moms feel the need to keep their children reliant on them for their own selfish needs, because as long as that child depends on them, they feel needed and loved.  How sad for those children.  The one returning mother tried to turn it around and blame Dr. Phil for the fact that her daughter was now rebelling and doing things she didn't want her 17 year old doing.  DUH!  The girl is behaving exactly as Dr. Phil predicted 4 years ago the first time he talked to the woman and warned her of the consequences of being overly involved in her child's life. 
I remember back when we were kids.  We'd ride our bikes to the public pool and be gone for hours with no contact with Mom or Dad.  They just wanted to know where we were going and what time we would be home.  We'd play with the kids in the neighborhood and be outside all day long.  There were no cell phones or GPS devices for our folks to keep track of us.  Mom would open the door and say "get out and play".  If Dad was really annoyed with us he'd tell us to "go play in traffic", he was joking of course...I think. 
Me?  I truly believe in the phrase I cross-stitched about 15 years ago. 
"Give your children two things,
One is roots,
The other wings."
I can only pray that I am giving my children the right balance of security and independence.  If not, I'll feel as though I've failed as a parent.  I want them to be able to fly on their own, but always feel like they always have a a safe place to return to if need be, not matter where their life may take them.
(This is where I tried to put a poll in but AOL lost my entire entry by closing the page so I'll try saving before doing the poll.)
Actual poll is at the bottom of this entry.
So, if you had to label yourself as a parent, what would your label be?
Helicopter Parent--constantly hovering and not realizing your life and your child's are two different things.
Dunno Parent--dunno where my kid is nor do I care as long as I get to take a nap and they aren't bleeding.
Tightrope Walker--doin my best to maintain that balancing act & raise a healthy child that will grow up to be an independent adult.
Last night was a really good evening.  Steph's birthday was Sunday so we had the kids over for a Ham dinner.  I cannot even begin to explain how wonderful it feels when all our kids are getting along so well.  It took 11 years to get to this point and it's just a peaceful kind of feeling.  I love having all the kids over and having them all get along.  It's what Ray and I have always wanted and longed for.  We love all thekids and it just feels great to reach this point.  I always wondered what true contentment felt like...and I think I felt it for a few minutes last night.  Then I realized I had still had to clean up after everyone left.  LOL
Last, but certainly not least, does anyone know what that banner up top is all about?  Does that mean all our journals are going to close down?  Or are we just going to lose all past entries?  What the heck is going on around here?! 
I clicked the link and all it said was that AOL Hometown is closing down.  It also included another link to read how to save all your stuff.  However, when I clicked it I got a blank page.  Thanks ever so much for the important information AOL. 
Have a wonderful Tuesday,
Jill Marie

No comments: