Friday, February 23, 2007

This and that and a wee bit more

Oh where to begin today...hmmm, well how about with a word of advice.  Be prepared, todays entry is a hodge podge of information about this and that.

Let's start with something fun.  How about shopping?!  Weeeeeee!  I love to shop, even if it's just window shopping, and today I have been window shopping via the internet and decided to share this cool thing I found with ya'll.  They are bowls made in Nepal from plastic wrappers. 

Proceeds from the sale of the bowls help fund healthcare and education in Nepal as well as a livelihood for the artist.  I received the link in an email from The Daily OM and you can go there by clicking on Recycled Bowls.


Speaking of the Daily OM, this is a copy of a message I received from them the other day.  I found it to be very interesting and very true.

February 21, 2007
Choosing Not To Be A Target

Emotional Attacks

Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did to rouse their anger, and we take their actions personally. We may ask ourselves what we could have done to compel them to behave or speak that way toward us. It's important to remember that there are no real targets in an emotional attack and that it is usually a way for the attacker to redirect their uncomfortable feelings away from themselves. When people are overcome by strong emotions, like hurt or anguish, they may see themselves as victims and lash out at others as a means of protection or to make themselves feel better. You may be able to shield yourself from an emotional attack by not taking the behavior personally. First, however, it is good to cultivate a state of detachment that can provide you with some protection from the person who is attacking you. This will allow you to feel compassion for this person and remember that their behavior isn't as much about you as it is about their need to vent their emotions.

If you have difficulty remaining unaffected by someone's behavior, take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that you didn't do anything wrong, and you aren't responsible for people's feelings. If you can see that this person is indirectly expressing a need to you-whether they are reaching out for help or wanting to be heard-you may be able to diffuse the attack by getting them to talk about what is really bothering them.

You cannot control other people's emotions, but you can control your own. If you sense yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep your heart open to them, and they may let go of their defensiveness and yield to your compassion and openness.

We probably all tend to take the defensive when someone attacks us, or goes off on a rant on us.  I know that I do.  It's hard not to.  I've tried to be more open lately, unless it is truly an attack without cause. 

Without cause?  No, I don't believe there is ever a good enough reason for someone to attack you.  But I also realize that sometimes people are overwhelmed with emotions and can go off on a rant.  I may not necessarily be the target of the rant, but since I am standing there in the midst of it, it feels as though I am the target.

More than likely there is a lot going on than just what appears to be the problem.  When someone is lashing out it could be that they are having negative feelings about themselves, or they are going through something else that is bothering them and this "one little thing" just set them off.

I know that I have a tendency to do that myself.  I hold everything in, trying to keep it all together, trying not to come off as the b*tch about things.  Then after not saying anything, or saying something and being ignored...there will be that one little itty bitty thing that will set me off.  It's as it I am trying to tie it all up in a knot (keeping it in) and I can feel the threads fraying. 

But there is the problem.  I'm not letting it be known that something is bothering me.  How can people know that they are pushing me to the limit with stupid little things when I don't tell them?  Ahh, there is the quandary.  I am trying so hard to "keep the peace" to not "ruffle any feathers", and in the end I usually end up doing exactly what I've been trying to avoid, but ten fold.

Instead of worrying about everyone else's feelings and how they are going to react, I need to just tell them how I am feeling when something happens.  If they don't know it isn't okay with me, they'll just keep doing it and I'll just keep steaming inside until I finally blow. 

Yeah, I talk a good game.  However, I've spent years burying my feelings, letting people walk all over me, and then blowing.  I know it isn't a good way to do it.  I know there are healthier ways of dealing.  It's just hard to change learned behavior.  But I'll try to do better.  Baby steps, lol.


Here is something funny.  The other day I was wandering around the Internet looking for something here in Toledo when I came across this article at The Smoking Gun.  It is about a little heist by some hefty gals.  LOL  It almost seems too funny to be true, but they have copies of the police report right there at the site.  Get a chuckle and go read about the Hefty Milk Heisters.


Yesterday, I kept an eye on my sister-in-laws niece.  Her mom was in the hospital having labor induced.  Peyton is a few years older than Rylie.  It started out okay, but Rylie was a typical toddler, not wanting to share, etc.  And Peyton was a typical older kid, "tell her to stop following me" then running by her laughing, etc. 

Well, at dinner time Rylie started to look a bit tired.  Next thing I know her head was on the table right next to her plate.  I asked Ray if she was sleeping, he said "nah, I think she is faking".  So I walked over and sure enough she was out.  LOL  It was too cute.  She slept for awhile.  Then later, after dinner, Peyton was sitting on the floor watching tv and next thing we knew she was slumped over sleeping too. 

We really have to get Rylie around more kids her own age to play with so she can learn how to socialize a lot better.  Right now, she thinks the world revolves around her and whatever she wants.  Yep, we definitely have to work on that. 

Well, I guess that is about it.  Have a great weekend and be safe.


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