Friday, December 30, 2005

Friday Funny~My reminder~I'm a b*tch~Sleep

I remember one day in the car with David and Samantha, I was driving and both the kids were in the backseat.  David has been in kindergarten for a few months and Sammi was probably about 3 years old.   

At the time I was using body parts appropriate language, it was what all the professionals recommended.  For example, we called David's privates a penis.  Samantha had somehow picked up on the word and was always telling me that she had a penis too.  I would always tell her "no honey, you are a girl, you don't have a penis." 

 But she continued to insist that she did. Well, this one day in the car the subject somehow came up.  How did the kids end up talking about penis'?  Even after having 4 children, I still don't quite understand how their little minds work.

Anyway, once again Samantha proceeded to tell us that she too had a penis.  Suddenly David turned to her and said "Samantha, you do NOT have a penis.  You have a "china", your a girl and girls have "chinas". 

I look in the rear view mirror...I was a bit confused.  Whaaat did he say? 

"David, honey, did you say that girls have chinas?" 

Determined look on his face, he looks at me in the rear view mirror and says "yep". 

Hmmm, this is interesting.  "Honey, do you mean vagina?"

"Yeah."

Now where in the world...."That's right sweetie, your so smart. Where did you learn that honey?"

Big smile on his face, he replies "At school, the kids were talking about it."

"Ohhh, I see."  Quick smile back at him. 

Oh mah gosh!  If this is what he is learning in kindergarten I had better stay on my toes for the next 12 years.

And that is how Samantha learned she had a "china" and not a penis.  Now instead of walking up to people and telling them that she had a penis, she told them she had a "china".

Kids, ya gotta love them.  People look at ya funny when ya smack them, lol, just kidding!         

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Gotta put my email reminder up here, just in case the old man forgot AGAIN this year.  But heck, should I break his streak of 7 out of 8 years...forgetting, not remembering!  So I guess that makes me 7 years younger, right?  Hey, can't blame a girl for trying, lol.

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Don't Forget Birthday: My Birthday
Thursday, January 05, 2006   08:28 AM

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I found this and have been wondering when I could use it.  Today just feels right.  If I had a tee-shirt with this on it, I would definitely wear it today. 

Maybe it's not that I'm so b*tchy.  Perhaps I just feel that way since I have to be the only one in the house who can deal with things that a MAN should be dealing with.  For example, it seems that I am the only one who can deal with Fat Freddy without squealing and jumping like a little girl.  I'm not so scared that I insist we bring poison into a house that has a toddler in it.  What the heck is gonna happen when the demn thing dies between the walls?  Yes, "Rachel" that can happen!

Yes, I am totally serious.  This man wants to bring poison into the house to kill the mouse.  He "just can't handle the thought of that mouse being in the house".  I am sitting here in my bare feet.  He had to put his steel toed boots on this morning before he would leave the bedroom. 

I agree, we have to do something about the situation.  But I would rather not kill my daughter in the process.  DUH!  There are still other things we can try before we resort to using poison.  There are other baits and traps.  

Um, and it might be a good idea if "someone" were to inspect the house and make sure there are no other possible points of entry.  It makes no sense to get rid of this one, if another one can get in the very next day.

I am also the only one who doesn't cry like a little girl and go running into the other room when the baby has a dirty diaper.  Amazing isn't it?  These males can have you thinking that they are big, bad azzez that no one should mess with, when in actuality they are nothing more than pansy's!  In almost 2 years, I can literally count the number of dirty diapers that the old man has changed on my two hands (if I even need that many).

I am really beginning to wonder why we women even think we need men?  Jars with tight lids?  Hit it on the counter and it should open right up.  Taking out the trash?  How many of us have to beg the men to do it, and then usually end up doing it ourselves?  I rake the leaves and mow the yard.  Changing the oil?  I don't think I have ever seen him do that.  Besides they only charge like 15-20 dollars to do that.  Odd jobs around the house?  How many times have you asked a man to do something and it still isn't done?  Sex?  lol, yeah that's good.  But is what we get  worth all the extra laundry and cleaning we have to do?  B.O.B (battery operated boyfriends) seem like less work, and they don't talk back or try to make you do things you don't want to do, lol.

Yep, today I am a real...myspaceSo, what?  Wanna fight?  I think I am in the mood for it.  Don't think that the fact that I haven't slept longer than 4 hours since mid-November will hinder me either.  Actually I think it makes me a little more feisty, or perhaps I am just a bit more whack, lol.

At this point I am just jumping from one subject to another and not seeming to make any real sense.  Perhaps this would be a good point at which to end this.

LMAO!  I was just thinking about sleep.  On average let's say most people get about 6.5 hours of sleep at night.  Over thirty days that comes to 195 hours of sleep.  I have been getting between 2-4.5 hours of sleep at night (avg. 3.25 per night).  Over thirty days that comes to about 97.5 hours of sleep.  That is almost the same amount of sleep most people get in 2 weeks.  Hehehe,no wonder I am feeling a bit frustrated and loopy.

Have a good weekend!

Jill Marie

 

3 comments:

mawmellow said...

i'm with you on the sleep issue....it's no fun....

ldybg0069 said...

I FEEL YOU PAIN   I LIVE IN A HOUSE BUILT IN THE FORTIES AND THE ONLY REAL REPAIRS MY REDNECK WITHOUT A CLUE HAS MADE TO IT IS TO PUT NEW RAFTERS ANDSHINGLES ON .  IT IS FALLING APART SO FAT FREDDY WOULD HAVE SOME COMPANY AS WE LIVE IN THE COUNTRY SURROUNDED BY MANY FEILDS.  HERE'S THE KICKER, HE OWNS HIS OWN CONSTRUCTION BUSINESS.  LOL NOW HOW IS THAT FOR MAKING ME A FELLOW SUPERBITCH.  >(::) DONNA

csandhollow said...

May I snag? No posion! If he brings it find it and get rid of it. That child will go for it in a heartbeat. If she does NO WATER!!!!!!!or any other liquids.